HEAL THE MOTHER-CHILD BOND; REGAIN SELF ESTEEM-THE POWER OF MILK REMEDIES IN HOMEOPATHY
As mammals, mother milk is the first food we receive. Even babies who are given formula exclusively, still benefit from the bonding relationship between mother and baby; because it’s not just about food and physical nourishment: it’s about bonding, exchanging love and feeling connected.
Alternative medicine in general doesn’t pay enough attention to the role of milk in our health. Holistic medicine and homeopathy in particular, recognise the power of milk on the emotional and spiritual level of our being.
There are many different types of milk in homeopathy: from Lac humanum to Lac caninum, Lac delphinum, Lac caprinum, Lac defloratum, Lac Lupinum, Leoninum, Felinum…Therefore it is important to work with a homeopath to make sure whether the case needs a milk remedy first of all and then choose the correct one.
The first main theme of all Lacs is connection/disconnection.
I have seen many cases where the bond between mother and child was broken: babies taken into care, neglected children, adults from broken families and abusive parents. In all these cases the first feeling the patient has is one of rejection, The message is: “i am not wanted”. Soon after that, the message becomes: “I am not wanted because I am not worthy of love”. You can imagine where we go from there: being “unlovable” becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy, as the child does his/her best to misbehave, rebel, reject other people’s love. The adult goes from one abusive relationship to the next or chooses partners who will eventually cheat on them, abandon them, thus confirming the thought that they are, again, “unworthy of love”, they feel disconnected from the rest of society.
From this we have so many psychological definitions: low self-esteem, depression, social alienation and so on, but at the core, the issue is a deep seated feeling of disconnection.
The consequence of this disconnection is the second main theme of Lac remedies, which is self loathing: “I am no good, no-one will ever love me, I can’t do anything right, I am a failure”, these are the thoughts running through the mind of those who need a milk remedy.
The milk remedies I have used most often in my practice are Lac Humanum and Lac Caninum, although I have also had one case of Lac Lupinum.
This is where we see the theme of disconnection. The child or adult was physically (put up for adoption, abandoned) or emotionally (neglected, psychologically abused) rejected and this has left a deep emotional scar. Typically, children with these issues will rebel, shut down emotionally, so that they never have to suffer the same pain again. Adults who have not processed this pain, will go from abusive relationship to abusive relationship, have trust issues, but deep down blame themselves for everything negative that happens to them, because they feel “worthless”. Depression and anxiety are a constant, fear of abandonment; insomnia with night terrors. Of course these mental and emotional symptoms can be accompanied by physical symptoms, like skin conditions. Eczema, psoriasis. Why? because the skin is our biggest protective organ. It’s the divide between us and the rest of the world. If our connection with the outside world is disturbed, that can be reflected on the skin. Often this is what brings the patient to me: help with eczema or other skin condition. Then, as the consultation unfolds, I realise that there is something bigger to heal: the patient’s soul, their heart was broken a long time ago and that is what needs to be addressed. The Lac remedy in that case can be perfect to “open the case”; once the patient recognises he/she needs help at an emotional level and faces up to the past, he/she will be ready to heal physically too.
Lac Caninum is dog’s milk. This means that, on top of the above described characteristics, we also have some of the characteristics of dogs. What do I mean by that? Think about pet dogs: they are loyal, friendly, but most of all domesticated. A long time ago, they traded their freedom for protection, love and domesticity. Training dogs can involve some “cruelty”: we rub the dog’s nose in their poo to teach them not to poo in the house; wel tell them they are “dirty” and “bad dog!” when they eat rubbish or drink from the toilet; we train them to obey. They can’t tell us, but I would guess dogs’ self esteem is not that great. They can still rebel though, even they think “enough is enough” and when they get angry they will bark and get scary!
A person needing Lac Caninum has a particularly low self esteem. It is one of the typical remedies needed to victims of sexual abuse, not just physical abuse. Why? Because typically, victims of sexual abuse feel dirty. They are made to feel dirty by the abuser. Teachers and counsillors are trained to be on their alert when they see children obsessed with washing their hands. That can be a sign of abuse, because they feel “dirty” all the time and it is also a good symptom that indicates Lac Caninum.
If the abuse has gone on for a long time, the person’s self esteem is of course through the floor. However, there can be anger buried inside that will come out occasionally and violently, seemingly at random times, what psychologists call “displaced anger”, particularly in women before menses: it goes beyond the Sepia irritability, it’s full blown verbal or physical attack!
Milk remedies can definitely help the patient a lot when the main theme of the case is about relationship and separation or when we see unresolved mother issues.