CHILDREN AND BEHAVIOURAL PROBLEMS
Sometimes I get messages from mothers along the lines of:”Help! My child is totally unbearable lately, what can I give him?”
I can practically “see” the mother tearing her hair out with one hand and typing the message with the other…
There are three things I always say first of all: “Stop. Breathe. Step back”.
Once you’ve done that, look at the situation again. What does it look like now? Is your child having a bad day? Are you having a bad day? Or a bad week or a bad month? Remember: you are allowed to feel angry/frustrated/tired from time to time, so cut yourself and your child some slack and you’ll be fine, no need to take anything!
If, however, you have already tried that and you see your child still “out of sorts”, “acting up” or however you want to describe a state of emotional imbalance that has been going on for quite a while, then it may be time to see a homeopath.
LOOKING FOR THE ROOT CAUSE
One thing to remember is that there is always a reason that triggers difficult behaviours. As a mum, I know that sometimes it really looks like out little angels do their best to push all our buttons at once, on purpose, like some manipulative evil geniuses. However, when this behaviour becomes chronic and nothing else seems to work, homeopathy can literally change things from black to white by restoring balance and harmony to the child’s Vital Force.
HOW DOES THAT WORK?
As always, the right remedy must fit the individual! The root cause for the behaviour might be an event, a traumatic experience. This could be something that happened before the child was even born or at birth:
CASES OF ADOPTED OR FOSTER CHILDREN
I have worked with many children who were adopted at birth or in foster care. Sometimes the circumstances around the adoption can be pretty grim, as the biological mother might have had many physical and mental issues, like drug or alcohol abuse, depression or live in a physically abusive relationship.
Because life starts at conception, a baby has about nine months to experience what the mother is experiencing both physically and emotionally and it’s amazing how much it can affect us and how much we can “remember” even later on in our life!
By the time the baby is born, there is already a “burden” on his/her fragile shoulders. This can create problems later on like:
The relationship with the mother (biological one or adoptive one) can be particularly affected: the child can be both demanding attention and refusing affection.
One remedy I have found useful over the years for such cases is Lac Maternum: homeopathic mother’s milk.
Lac remedies in general are about inclusion/exclusion. The core sensation is one of rejection, often triggered by forced separation at birth. The child can show aggressive behaviour towards family members, defiance, refuse to be cuddled and so on, but at the root of it all, is a feeling of being rejected.
Can you think of anything worse than feeling rejected by your own mother?
I have seen children turn their behaviour around after just one dose of this wonderful remedy!
DEFIANT AND AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOUR
I cannot count the number of children who went back to their own sweet selves after a few doses of the right remedy. When the Vital Force is fundamentally healthy (no deep imbalances, like ADHD or ASD or other diagnoses), one or two doses is often all it takes!
A few remedies that are often useful include:
Lycopodium: the child needing this remedy can be quite the “little dictator”, especially at home. At school or in front of any authoritative figure, they are perfectly fine and compliant, in fact, they are quite scared of teachers or strict grandparents and follow the rules without any problems. At home, they can be pushy, demanding, self centred, defiant and difficult. At the core, this behaviour hides a deep insecurity and sometimes low self esteem, for which the child tries to compensate by being boisterous and over-assertive.
Veratrum Album: the superficial outlook of this remedy is very similar to theLycopodium picture, therefore it is easy to confure the two. The difference between the remedies is that Verat children tend to tell “tall tales” or downright lie. Very single minded, it’s the kind of child who will misbehave and then lie about it, blaming somebody else or making up a story to justify their behaviour.
Chamomilla: it’s not just for teething pains, colics and sleeping issues! The core sensation of Cham remedy is oversensitivity, both physical and emotional. Cham children cannot bear the slightest pain and complain constantly. Nothing is ever good enough: they demand this and that and when they get it, they don’t want it anymore or it’s not exactly what they expected…you get the picture. Very easily offended, they can break into tears from being reprimended and get very angry indeed.
Cina: according to some homeopathic books, Cina children can have the “ugliest mood” in the whole Materia Medica! Scowling is the default expression on a Cina child. It is not a coincidence that this remedy is the number one for parasites and worms: such an issue causes stomach pain and discomfort and that of course affects the mood.
Belladonna/Hyoscyamus/Stramonium: I put them together because they belong to the same plant family of Solanaceae. In their natural form, they all contain a poisonous hallucinogenic substance that centuries ago, “witches” used to take to perform their rituals. The homeopathic version, is of course harmless, as it is ultra-diluted. The symptoms are very similar and the common denominator is a sudden, “crazy” anger: the child can go from zero to OMG in a nano-second for no apparent reason. Belladonna grinds teeth in rage or during sleep; Hyos children often show off their private parts or masturbate in public; Stram children can have night terrors and even sleep-walk.